Going Short by Nancy Stohlman: A Mum Life Success Story

15/10/2020Jo Caddy

I must say I’m very excited about this particular Mum Life Success Story. I’ve had the pleasure of featuring some truly beautiful, amazing and inspiring Mums through these Mum Life Success Stories and each one of them has had a unique and special story to tell, but never have I featured someone as well-known and accomplished as Nancy Stohlman.

I have to admit that when I received an email from her publicity manager, about promoting her new book Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction I didn’t actually know who she was. That is due more to my lack of time to read and search out great authors (because I’m busy with work, family and this blog) than it is about Nancy’s reputation. Once I googled her name, and announced the upcoming interview on twitter etc, I realised that Nancy was fastly becoming a household name.

After just a little research I discovered that Nancy was not only a talented performer, writer and professor, but that she was juggling it all with motherhood and so naturally, I had to request an interview for the next ‘Mum Life Success Story’ feature. Nancy happily obliged and answered all my probing questions about life, success and family and how she navigates it all. I was truly inspired and knew without a doubt that all of you would be inspired too. If by some off-chance you don’t know who Nancy Stolman is, let’s start with a bit of backstory direct from her publicity manager.

This page contains affiliate links which may earn me a small commission (at no extra charge to you) should you click through and make a purchase. Affiliate links are how I keep this blog running, thank you.

Who is Nancy Stohlman?

Nancy Stohlman is the author of four books of flash fiction including Madam Velvet’s Cabaret of Oddities (a finalist for a 2019 Colorado Book Award), The Vixen Scream and Other Bible Stories (2014), and The Monster Opera (2013). She is the creator of The F-bomb Flash Fiction Reading Series and FlashNano in November. Her work has been anthologized in the W.W. Norton New Micro: Exceptionally Short Fiction, Macmillan’s The Practice of Fiction, and The Best Small Fictions 2019. Her craft book, Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction, is forthcoming from Ad Hoc Fiction in 2020. She teaches writing and rhetoric at the University of Colorado Boulder.

When she is not writing flash fiction she straps on stilettos and becomes the lead
singer of the lounge metal jazz trio Kinky Mink. She lives in Denver Colorado and dreams of one day becoming a pirate.

Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction

Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction is Nancy’s latest contribution to the world of literature. Writer and Teacher Kathy Fish describes it as “The definitive, and appropriately concise book on the flash fiction form”. I have read some of the book myself and I can say Kathy is right, If you’re a writer (as many of my readers are) or want to start writing, Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction is a resource you want to have on your bookshelf.

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Mum Life Success Story

With Nancy being the seasoned writer that she is and needing no help from me to tell her story, I decided to publish this feature in interview format rather than the story form I usually employ. First I asked Nancy to tell us a little bit about her family.

Tell us a little about your family?

I have two kids—Maiya is 22 and just got her first apartment; Felix is 15 and just got his learner’s permit (yikes!). My partner Nick and I have been together almost a dozen years. We’re all creatives: Nick is a classical pianist and Maiya is a visual artist, so I’m proud to have passed down a family value of artistry. My own parents were also creative; I remember musical jam sessions, a lot of clowning in my household growing up.

When did your love for writing begin?

I remember I was 10 years old on the bleachers at a soccer game when I announced I was going to become an author. I was a voracious reader, of course. I grew up on military bases overseas, so books were my constant friends through all the moving and the various cultural and language barriers. After my author announcement my mother let me use her electric typewriter and I wrote a musical: Superman, The Musical (ala Christopher Reeve). I felt so important as I sat there clicking the keys, feeding in the paper. I don’t know what happened to the musical, but I still feel the magic when I sit down to write.

What inspired you to write your upcoming publication ‘Going Short’?

I was inspired to write Going Short about 10 years ago, when students and fellow writers kept asking me to recommend flash fiction craft books. I didn’t know what to recommend—there were almost no craft books aimed at this growing genre (nor by women). So I decided to take it on myself. I thought it would be easy, something I could write in a year or two. Ha. It took me almost 8 years! But I’m extremely proud of the result—I hope this book becomes a friend to the writers and readers who fall in love with flash fiction.

Are there any major obstacles you’ve had to overcome to get where you are now?

Oh yes. Self doubt. Fear. Creative deserts. Jealousy. Self-sabotage. It’s not easy to go for your dreams. There’s so much risk. Every step you think you might be crazy. Every step you expose yourself to…all of it. Not everyone is rooting for you, so you have to cheer yourself on no matter what. It’s not always easy. It takes courage and bravery, not just one time but every time. Over and over. So my challenge is to reach deeper and keep finding that courage. It’s either that or give up—which keeps me motivated on the hard days.

Are there any funny, intense, or inspiring stories you can tell us about your experiences in writing and/or publishing?

For years I fantasized of spending “three weeks on an island all by myself just writing.” Sounds magical, right? Then, last year, I decided to do it. I was already in Italy co-hosting a flash fiction retreat (so amazing), and when it was over I found a super remote island in the Adriatic, rented a renovated wine cellar for $150 a week, and went on my own sabbatical. And I wrote every day. Every blissful day. I mean, I woke up, I wrote, I walked to get coffee, I wrote. I ate gelato, I walked to the empty beach. I wrote. It was magical, and I discovered what I call Holy Boredom. And because of it, I finished this book.

What would you say is your biggest challenge with balancing family life with your career? How do you find balance (if you do)?

Funny, but I think this question is part of the challenge—if I were a man I would likely never be asked this question. Because I’m a woman, there’s an expectation (even from myself) that I can and will do it all: be a loving mother, chef, teacher, partner, friend, housekeeper, nurture all my relationships…oh, AND write books, teach on campus, run retreats, and attempt to dream my own inspiration into being. And, because all women are amazing, we do it. All of it. But I like to envision a world where men are asked this question, too.

The short answer of how I balance it all? I fail. I succeed. Then I fail. I do my best. And sometimes I schedule a weekend to myself and that’s important, too.

How does your experience as a Mother help with your writing and vice versa?

Once I had kids I knew the luxury of waiting for the muse, was over. If I really wanted to be a writer, I had to begin now—there was a little person watching me. So I wrote during nap time and in the evenings after bedtimes. I mean, I wrote entire books during nap times, during pre-school. Later I wrote on trains and buses while commuting to campus. I learned to seize THIS moment, imperfect but available, because the perfect moment is just an illusion. So in a very real way my children forced me to get serious and make it happen.

And writing makes me a better mother, too, because I’m honoring that creative part of myself. I’m more present for my family when I’m present for myself. Put on your own oxygen mask before you help others.

What advice can you give to other women (mothers in particular) wanting to chase their dreams of becoming a professional writer?

Just begin. The perfect time, the perfect location, the perfect idea—you could be waiting forever. The real day-to-day of writing is messy—there is nothing idealized about it. And yet, allowing yourself to be creative is amazingly, imperfectly perfect. On a good day, it’s still just as magical to me as that first time at my mom’s electric typewriter.

Plus, the very best thing you can do for your children is to show them what it looks like to not give up on yourself. They will be watching and learning from your actions far more than from your words.

Thanks

Thank you for reading this blog, if you’d like to submit a story for consideration to be published, please visit our submissions page.

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MOMS MADE FOR MORE: A Mum Life Success Story

31/01/2020Jo Caddy

This month’s Mum Life Success Story embraces all that I hope for, for my readers here at Mum Life Stories. Independence, perseverance, courage, identity, and a can-do attitude toward chasing her dreams. She’s on a mission to not only see her own dreams and desires fulfilled but to help others do the same and to find their true selves amongst all the noise this world throws at them.

A true inspiration, April Sky is a single mum, business woman, life coach and entrepreneur. How she got to where she is today can only be attributed to her own determination not to give up, not to allow her circumstances or the obstacles that inevitably come, to prevent her from being all that she can be.

I could go on with the introduction but I think I will just let her do that herself. Afterall who can tell you more about someone than that someone themselves?

“Hi, friends! My name is April Sky and I’ve been a divorced full-time single boy mom for the past three years to my wild-ass, beautifully creative, five-year-old son. Together, we live on our own in Montana (United States). Both businesses that I’ve built/run and supported us with financially, were started after he was born, making our journey quite the freaking ride.”

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Becoming Mum

Before April was a mother she was quite satisfied in her job as a teacher. She was married and certain that she was supposed to be a stay-at-home mum.

“So, I had my son, loved him fiercely, but felt an extreme pull to somehow financially contribute, which then birthed my second baby, photography. Two years later, that business exploded into a profitable wedding photography venture that not only gave me my independence, but it gave me a voice, something that had been squashed out of me since I was little. I knew in my soul that the identity I had lived and the life I had built around me was not okay or healthy and most importantly, not what I wanted to raise my child around.

When Jaemon was not even two, I signed up for, trained, and ran my first half marathon. It was in training that I realized I was in a very unhealthy marriage and was not being true to who I was deep down. I was a lost mom who had never ever had the opportunity to be her true self. I wasn’t really even sure who that was, I just knew it wasn’t who I was at that moment. So, after an internal battle for the ages and essentially no emotional support, I left. Hello single mom life.”

Troubled Beginnings

Many of us can probably relate to the fact that who we become as adults and how we feel about who we are is shaped by our childhood and the influences and experiences we go through. Some experiences are good and help us learn how to cope with the world and some damage us and tear holes in our identity that take many years to repair. April had an experience in her childhood that did just that.

“The shaping of who I am and why I lived a life of lost identity until the age of 27 started when I was five-years-old, when in a moment I lost the trust of a family member and of men really altogether. With this story comes tears, guilt, trauma, lasting damage, grief and several rounds of counseling (my current counselor is my jam). It was at five that I lost my voice and quieted that fire I knew even then was inside of me. I recall sitting on my bedroom floor, lighting candles and asking God or the universe to please make me ‘normal’ and like everyone else. At age five.

My wandering soul was old then and although it was beautifully different, outside circumstance told it not to be. It’s because of this that I am now louder than my circumstances. It’s because of this that I left my child’s father because I damn-well wasn’t going to watch my son’s old soul be shamed out of him as well. Celebrate your differences because they are gifts that were given to you for a reason.”

Finding her voice

After a difficult separation and a series of other traumatic events, April and her son found themselves called to a totally new city, completely on their own.

“That is where the second business was created, ‘Moms Made for More’. If you cannot find what you need, you create it and that’s just what I did nearly two years ago. What started as a Facebook group for moms to feel safe and interact, snowballed into a full-time business of teaching moms that they can be both a stand-out parent AND a badass dream achiever, simultaneously and it starts with finding their voice.

With dreams comes heartbreak, grief, pain (both physical and mental), loss, and failure. But, you know what sets those that reach their dreams from those that don’t? The will to keep going. I used to, and still catch myself occasionally, living in a limited belief that because I’m a single mom with little to no help emotionally or financially, that it’s harder for me and it’s why I haven’t x,y, or z-ed yet. It’s not because of my situation. It’s because I’m still falling back into that limiting belief occasionally that because I have developmental/past trauma or because my child struggles with sensory issues or because I live dollar to dollar or because so few around me think like I do, that I’m not getting farther faster. In reality, it’s because of these things that I am absolutely fit and ready to do what I’ve been called to do which is to serve moms by being who I am and by using my very loud voice.”

Balance

I always ask my Mum Life Success Story Mums how they find balance, between family, work, dream chasing and community. April didn’t hold back on being authentic about her struggle.

“Simple answer. I don’t, but what I do find is myself, over and over again. I’ve put in so much emotionally and financially into truly TRULY peeling back the layers and discovering who I am at my core so that, although I’m constantly evolving and growing (as we all can if we give ourselves space to), I know who home-base April is and it’s from there that I find my “balance.” It’s from there that I know what lifts me/weighs me and from there that I’ve learned how to structure my days and my weeks and my year for success as I run two profitable businesses and raise an incredible little boy on my own.

I’m also a planner whore and have my goals with actionable steps plastered all over my walls, haha. Benefit of being single. I believe with my entire being that a dream without a plan stays just that, a dream. So, I feel it, I think it, I speak it into existence, and then I plan it, step-by-step. Solid recipe for turning your dreams into reality. But again, that’s what works for me. Figure out WHO you are and you’ll know what works for you, too.”

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Future Goals

By now I think you’ve gotten the picture that April is a planner and a visionary, so it should be no surprise that her goals for the next fews years are extraordinary. Of course my question about what she sees herself doing in 5 years was met with great enthusiasm.

“Oh my goodness, so I’m a 3 on the Enneagram (run and take the paid version if you have yet to) and so I LOVE getting questioned on my five-year plans. In five years, my ultimate goal is to do less, but achieve more (thank you Kate Northrup). However, if we’re getting specific, allow me to word vomit. I’m a firm believer that when you write your dream as if it is happening/has happened versus the possibility of it happening, the universe loves you more for it.

So with that said, I will be serving millions of moms through several platforms, I will be the host of a podcast (that’s coming at you this year), I will be the author of two published and impactful novels, I will be the author of a single-mom E book that helps get you through the first year as a single mother, I will be on the Ed Mylett Show (huge huge fan), I will be speaking heavily all over the world, and most importantly, I will be an exceptional mother and partner to the man my son and I have yet to meet.”

April’s Advice

Feeling inspired? Wondering how you could become someone who motivates women to go on that journey of self discovery? April’s advice is:

“If you too would love to be a stay-at-home, full-time working entrepreneur mother who uses her voice to help others, it starts with you. The best gift I could have ever given myself and my child is the space and the time that I devoted to identifying who I am at my core and how I best care for myself to reach my highest potential. It takes trial and error, it takes falling on your ass, and it takes heartbreak, but holy sh#%, once you are on the “other side” looking back at your former lost self, you will smile and keep going. We are forever students of life, but if you want to say “F the Norm” with me and write your own story, it starts with identifying who you are, truly, so that your voice can get you to your highest potential, whatever that may be.

For extra motivation or to find help getting started on your own personal journey toward self-discovery, you can visit April’s website at www.momsmadeformore.com

To see April’s awesome photography, you can visit her Photography website at www.aprilskyphotography.com

Follow her on instagram @heyaprilsky @momsmadeformore and @aprilskyphotography

…and why not join April’s community Facebook group here https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsmadeformore/

Thanks

Thank you for reading this blog, if you’d like to read more Mum Life Success Stories, click HERE and if you’d like to be featured as one of our success stories, simply email us at mumlifestories@gmail.com or visit our T & C’s page for more info.

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Mangoes & Monkey Bread: A Mum Life Success Story.

22/12/2019Jo Caddy

“Take the first Step, everything begins with the first step.”

At Mum Life Stories we are passionate about helping women (especially mums) to discover their own true identity and to develop the confidence they need to pursue their dreams. Discovering your identity is all about embracing who you are, your personality, your character, your body, mind & spirit, your culture, your background and all the experiences (good & bad) that make up your unique ‘life story’.

Sometimes life can take us out of our comfort zone or put us into situations where it can be difficult to maintain a sense of belonging, which in turn can foster a detachment of our self-awareness and identity. Knowing who we are and where we come from, is very significant in developing that sense of identity and helping us to embrace ‘who we are’ so we can start journeying toward ‘who we want to be’.

Emily Joof is one woman who knows who she is and is passionate about teaching her children and other children about discovering who they are and where they come from. She has recently self-published her first book ‘Mangoes & Monkey bread’ in the hopes of bridging the gap between her family’s life in Sweden and their heritage in West Africa. She was kind enough to share the inspiration for her story and the process behind it with me, so I could share it with all my awesome readers.

This page contains affiliate links that may earn me a commission (at no extra cost to you) if you click through and make a purchase. Affiliate links are how I keep this blog running, thank you!

Emily

A couple of months ago you might remember me posting a Mum Life Success Story about a lady who opened a Cafe in Africa (C assy’s Cafe: A Mum Life Success Story )? That lady (Cassy) grew up in Sweden and now lives in The Gambia but Emily grew up in The Gambia and now lives in Sweden. I just thought I should clarify that in case the details seem a little familiar but you can’t quite put your finger on why, haha.

Emily was born in Nigeria but grew up in The Gambia. As a young adult she moved around Europe for study, but eventually settled in Stockholm, Sweden when she got engaged to Charles and they decided that greener pastures and a family friendly city was the life they were looking for.

Emily is a Mother to two brilliant children, Ella (6yrs old ) and Louis (3yrs old). She is an Education Advisor who works in international development. She told me “I have always been passionate about development work, specifically working with children and youth and have been lucky enough to build a career doing something that means so much to me.”

As well as her full-time job, Emily is also a blogger, and an author of children’s books. She recently self-published her first book ‘Mangoes & Monkey Bread‘ in English and Swedish.

Inclusion has always been at the heart of everything Emily does “but I only recently linked it to children’s literature. I blog about diversity in children books and try to provide some nuance to the larger conversation. It is important for me to remind us all that inclusion is a human right, one that we promised children everywhere through the United Nations Convention on ‘The Right of the Child’. So we don’t only do ‘inclusion’ from the goodness of our heart, or when we have time, or when we have room for diversity, we have an ‘obligation’ to every child that they feel reflected, that they feel loved, cared for, protected and heard.”

Emily says her next book in 2020 will be for children and their parents to celebrate these rights.

The Birth of Mangoes & Monkeybread

Ella and fav books — Ella with some of her favourite books

As parents we want what is best for our children. We want them to know and love themselves, to have a positive self image so they can face the world with confidence. Most of us are also willing to go to great lengths to make sure they have every opportunity to achieve this. Emily is certainly one of those parents. “Diversity in children’s literature became the answer to one of my most challenging moments in life. Like all children, my daughter then aged 4, struggled to find a space where she felt she belonged. She didn’t feel part of the norm, she felt unpretty, she didn’t want to be brown, she didn’t want to be different anymore.”

Being in a country outside of their cultural heritage did not make it easy for Ella to feel like she belonged. “This universal experience of otherness was amplified by a mainly homogenous Scandinavian environment, and the one thing that lifted her spirits and got her singing again, was books. I had spent hours ordering in books, talking to librarians, reading to her, reminding her of the beauty in her brown, and sparkle in her curls. The message got through, one page at a time.”

Reading these books became their ritual and their remedy. So together they read more and Emily blogged more. “One spring after a wonderful trip to The Gambia, filled with amazing moments with their grandparents, my kids asked for a bedtime story that had mangoes in it. Ella wanted to see the ‘spiky fruit’ she had eaten from grandma’s tree. She wanted to see the frozen green ditakh, that had been ordered just for her, so I started my search again and realised there wasn’t a single childrens book out there, that showed some of the fruits native to west africa that I myself had eaten pretty much every day when I was their age.”

This lack of availability of relevant children’s literature is what inspired Emily to launch her career as an author. “So I compiled our memories and discussions and ‘Mangoes and Monkey bread’ was born. I realised there must be generations of children from the West African diaspora who couldn’t find themselves in the narratives available.”

Emily was moved by the obvious need for not only her children and other West African children to learn about their own heritage, but for children of the world to discover the diversities of another culture. “I want to share our stories as far and wide as I can. In my house we read about galaxies, about sushi, we learn about nomads and Latin American festivals, we open up our children’s world and encourage to discover. We want African diasporan culture, colors, stories, to be part of that journey of discovery for all children.”

Emily’s book is available on Amazon Kindle and in Paperback form.

Mangoes & Monkey bread (Buy it Now)

Balance

Something I always ask my Mum Life Success Story Mums is “How do you find balance, if you do?” Emily answered “Last year a friend asked me if I had a new year’s resolution for 2019. I said I didn’t, but I hoped to learn how to do one thing at a time. I can tell you now, I have failed miserably. I want to do everything, all at once, motherhood, parenting, writing, publishing, mentoring, traveling, inspiring, everything! Perhaps I simply find balance in the imbalance.

In reality balance to me is more about a feeling of fulfillment which I see in my daughter’s eyes when she tells people, ever so proudly, that she is a character in a book, or my son pointing at the illustration saying ‘mummy its me’..everything in my life is balanced perfectly knowing they feel that self worth.”

The Future

I asked Emily where she saw herself in 5 years. “In 5 years, I hope to be a happy mom, with independent self-assured kids who still come to me with their secrets and for cuddles from time to time. I hope to be a person who has inspired someone to believe in themselves and take a leap towards whatever that dream is that makes their heart beat, that little bit faster. I think the biggest obstacle for me is time. Time to do it all, fit it all in 24 hours a day, everyday.

Advice

Emily’s advice to anyone who has a dream they are not sure how to chase, is short and sweet but to the point and so simple it’s perfect. “Go for it, reach out to me if needed. Take the first step; everything begins with the first step.”

You can read Emily’s blog Here

Follow her on Facebook at Mbife Books or Instagram @mbife_books/

Thanks

Thank you for reading this blog, I hope and pray that you receive inspiration and motivation from these posts to go forth and chase your dreams. Don’t forget to follow us (bottom of page) or sign up to our mailing list to keep up to date with all the latest stories, news & promos including giveaways and writing competitions, plus receive a FREE Ebook, exclusive to our email subscribers.

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HURD & CO – A Mum Life Success Story

30/11/2019Jo Caddy

Hey everyone, I’m finally back. 3 weeks of sick kids, sleep deprivation and no time for anything has finally ended and I have a day off to get some writing done. Procrastination has stolen my morning but my determination to bring you this months Mum Life Success Story has finally won out and here I am typing, typing, typing with a thousand thoughts running through my head about what I need to get done for Christmas and my sons second birthday on the weekend.

Isn’t that just a typical Mum Life Story though? I mean, there’s always so many things to do and to organise, it’s a never ending juggling act of priorities and responsibilities that go through seasonal ups and downs where we sometimes have it all together and perfectly balanced and other times we have to put some priorities on pause while we attend to the most important responsibilities in our lives.

What’s important is that we don’t let those momentary deviations reroute us, but we get back on the horse so to speak and get back to juggling and balancing our butts off! Perseverance is the key if we want to succeed in those goals we have, to make our dreams a reality. Perseverance and hard work, nothing can beat it!

One lady who’s perseverance and hard work has seen her, in her own words, evolve from a table top scarf seller to an influential ethical fashion brand, is Dawn Hurd, founder of Hurd & Co. Dawn is basically a one-woman fashion store. The designer, the maker, the marketing department, admin department, finance department, etc, etc and her hand-made products are winning awards and getting her noticed in the world of ethical business.

Personalised ‘Home Sweet Home’ Sign (Buy it Now)

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About Dawn

Dawn Hurd lives in Somerset, England with her husband, affectionately known as Mr. H, (whom she started dating when she was 17) and their 3 children, Joshua 16, Jake 11 and Olivia 10. She is 46, a wife, a mum, a part time admin assistant for her husbands construction business and a mumtrepreneur.

Dawn didn’t always know what her business would be one day but she always had an entrepreneurial spirit. She says “I grew up in a small village in Somerset surrounded by family and open fields. I scrumped apples, played in hay barns, scuffed my knees and rode horses. I started my first business when I was 13 making and selling jewellery to holiday makers from the local pub.”

After leaving school, she couldn’t settle “I worked in a yoghurt factory, I picked peas, I drove a 7 ½ tonne lorry for parcel force, I worked as a cashier, a cleaner and a barmaid before settling as a lifeguard, then Gym Manager and eventually started a successful Fitness & Lifestyle Consultancy.”

Dawn loved the fitness side of her business and business was booming with 3 local council contracts as a GP Referral Coordinator. “I worked as a link between the GP’s, referring patients with medical conditions like asthma, angina, arthritis, diabetes, etc. I worked to educate them and increase their confidence so they could get into mainstream gyms. I did a bit of cardiac rehabilitation work also, which I loved.”

A Change of Trajectory

Things were going really well, but sometimes life can throw us a curveball and we are forced to change our trajectory in a completely different direction. “Due to 8 miscarriages, I was advised to stop exercising as my doctor felt I was over doing it. We have since discovered, due to a bone fracture, that I have Coeliac Disease causing malnutrition which caused the miscarriages as well as Osteoporosis.”

So the fitness side of things had to be scaled right down, but just three months later she was pregnant again, this time with her son who is now sixteen years old. Dawn turned her attention toward her family and became a stay-at-home mum, but the entrepreneur in her could not be silenced and she ended up running a craft business called Ribbons and Rosebuds.

But it wasn’t until 2016 and three beautiful children later, that the opportunity would present itself for her now successful, ethically sustainable business. “In early 2016 a friend popped in for lunch. She spotted a scarf I had made and asked me to make fifteen scarves for an upcoming fashion show she was assisting with. They sold out. This was the beginning of Hurd & Co. I managed to convince my husband this was a good idea, he gave me £400 which I have since paid him back…….with interest.”

As most mums know, juggling a family, work and a life is no easy task and finding the dreaded ‘B’ word can sometimes be an exercise in futility. I always ask my interviewee’s how they find balance and the answers are always different. For Dawn, balance takes the form of ‘self care’. “I ‘attempt’ to dress in workout gear every morning for the school run so that when I return I have no distractions from getting onto my mountain bike and cycling every morning straight from school……However this does take second, third, fourth place more than it should. On days where I need head space I head to the nearest woodland. I cannot describe how at peace I feel when I’m surrounded by trees and nature, it’s a good place for me to be. I also feel a huge amount of pressure to inspire my children, especially my daughter, I want them to see that hard work really pays off. They are the Co. in Hurd & Co and they help me whenever they can.”

Three years later, Dawn has a whole range of products and her business is championing conscious fashion. On her website, you’ll see that Hurd & Co are committed to providing a sustainable, ethical business model in accordance with the United Nations Sustainable Development Goals. So not only is her business becoming more successful, but it is playing a huge role in reducing the environmental footprint of the production industry.

This success is now being recognised by the industry.

“In early September this year I headed up to the NEC in Birmingham to the Spring Fair to receive an award for Fashion Accessory of the Year ‘Made in Britain’ category, from the BTAA (British Travel goods Handbags & Accessories Association). It is the greatest highlight for the business so far. I still catch myself smiling in disbelief that I actually won, I am thrilled to bits.”

Obstacles

I asked Dawn what the biggest obstacle was in moving forward in the business and how she overcomes it and she said “My biggest obstacle is lack of funds, however, this has always been my largest hurdle and up to now through determination, creativity, collaboration and hard work I have managed, on a shoestring, to grow the business. I shall continue with the belief that if I work hard enough for it I will achieve it and although it may take me a little longer to get to the point where I have a large enough budget to invest in my business I am under no illusion that there will ever be enough money in the budget because there will always be opportunities requiring cash investment. Sales equal income, so for now I need to get my head down and keep knitting.

I believe Dawn is an awesome example of how perseverance and determination can turn opportunities into successes. Dawn didn’t get where she is because of a university degree, or lot’s of cash or a huge following on social media. She is where she is because she believed it could happen and she took the opportunity when it came and worked hard to make it happen.

The Future

Dawns business is already involved in some great causes, she is an official supporter for the Campaign for Wool, she supports the Global Goals for Sustainable Development and 10% of her customers purchases are directly donated to the mental health charity MIND. When I asked her where she saw herself and the business in 5 years, she said that in 5 years she will:

Have set up community Sit & Knit sessions for elderly people living in rural communities who are suffering with loneliness, isolation or depression issues. Welcoming them to gather together to drink tea, eat cake, knit and natter in a safe environment where they can share any worries, concerns laughs and tears all funded by Hurd & Co.
Have donated a minimum of £1000 to charities dealing with loneliness, isolation and depression.
I will have a team, a group of women employees knitting my collections allowing me the time to develop the business.
I will be mentoring other women hoping to start their journey to running their own successful business.

I can’t wait to interview her again in 5 years and see if she has indeed reached all these goals but I am sure that she will have not only reached them but far exceeded them.

Advice

Dawn‘s advice for anyone looking at delving into the world of mumtrepreneurship (should definitely be a word) is “Download the Youtube app. Being a mumtrepreneur can be an extremely lonely place where ‘Imposter Syndrome’ creeps into my head daily. I am constantly listening to motivational speakers, podcasts, ‘how to’ tutorials etc.
My time, like yours, is so very precious, so if whilst I’m making beds or hoovering I can have my earphones on with Tony Robbins motivating me to believe in my abilities, to work for my goals or Jasmine Star explaining how to nail social media or an SEO ‘how to’ tutorial to educate myself to take the business further, I come away feeling I have been super productive with my time and I feel inspired to give the business my all for another day. I have had some huge failures which have eventually resulted in lots of lessons of what not to do, so that eventually I can learn from my mistakes and start again. Having the school of You Tube behind me assists me in learning for free.”

When it comes down to it, no one’s story is exactly the same. We all have obstacles to overcome, failures to learn from, fear to fight and losses to recoup, but if we stay the course, learn from our experiences and never give up, we can accomplish anything.

If you’d like to see Dawn’s work, you can visit her website www.hurdandco.com or follow her on Instagram.

“Failure doesn’t bother me, fear and regret do.” ~ Dawn Hurd

Thanks

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FROM POVERTY TO PROVIDER: A Mum Life Success Story.

27/10/2019Jo Caddy

Success cannot simply be defined in terms of wealth, achievement or fame.

The Oxford dictionary describes success as “The accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” This says to me that success can look differently to each individual person and for someone who grew up in abject poverty, any and all positives in life could be seen as success. Having food to eat and a roof over your head can be success. Having a family can be success, just waking up still breathing can be a success.

If simply living and breathing and having provision is success, then how much more is it if you not only gain those things for yourself but can you can be the catalyst in providing those things for others? I think that’s more than success, that’s profound victory!

Nankabirwa Tendo Kambugu, is a Mother, a Wife, a Minister of Religion and a Provider to many parentless children. Nankabirwa’s story is not all that uncommon in Ughanda, but for those of us in the Western world, it’s unthinkable.

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Abandoned

“Unlike many other Children” she tells us “I experienced a difficult start in my Life, I never had the opportunity of having the Love of a Mother or a Father. They abandoned me as a Child.” Nankabirwa was raised by her Grandmother, in a little mud house in a poor village called Mubende. Her grandmother’s generosity in taking her in, could not be matched with her ability to give her everything she needed, for she had very little to give, even the poor called her poor. “She struggled everyday to see that she could put food on the table for us.”

Her grandmother did the best she could to take care of her but without money, all she could provide were the bare necessities. Nankabirwa was never able to attend school because there was no money for books or even shoes to wear and healthcare was something they could only dream about. “When I was 14, my grandmother suffered pneumonia, not having or being able to afford proper medical care, she grew weaker and passed on. The only Person I knew was gone.”

A New Hope

Left alone to fend for herself, her only option was to go to the Capital City, Kampala in search of work as a house maid, but it was all in vain as she could not find anyone to take her on. “I went to Christ is the King healing Church to seek refuge, it’s there where I sank into the Gospel, learned more about Jesus’ love and my hope was restored.”

While she served the Lord, singing in the Choir, helping out as an Usher, sweeping and cleaning the Church and toilets, she met Pastor James Kambugu. “A great relationship was built between us that led to him proposing, asking for my hand in Marriage. I said yes, we got Married and then we together later started a Church.”

The Beginning Of Hope For Many

This new found life and love Nankabirwa found, made her feel very fortunate and it wasn’t just her life that was changed for the better. “My first adopted girl I got from one lady that I used to stay with before I met Pastor James. When that lady got sick she asked me that ‘if I die, please stay with my baby girl’ so I stayed with Winfred from 3 years old when that lady died.”

Growing up very poor and finding hope and help through church and Pastor James, made Nankabirwa feel great empathy for others in the same or similar situations. “When I met Pastor James, we went into the village to minister together but we found that in that village there where many kids who were not going to school. I asked my husband what we could do to help the kids in this village so we started to think about that.”

It was 2010 and at that time Nankabirwa’s husband had an American pastor that was donating $150 per month to them. They began using those funds to help kids from very poor families. There were 13 in total, 7 of them were orphans. “Today we run a Children’s Ministry that is reaching out to help Vulnerable, Orphaned and Destitute Children. Over the years we’ve seen many lives transformed and impacted. We haven’t been doing this alone though, it’s all been possible with the help of our Facebook Friends, Partners and Sponsors.”

Today they have 4 adopted children and 3 biological children of their own, along with 72 children in the ministry, ranging in ages from 4 years to 17 years. A lot of the children have poor single Mothers or their parents have died from various diseases, including AIDS or been killed due to persecution.

Nankabirwa and her husband Ps. James Kambugu run the childrens ministry with a handful of teachers, alongside their ministry ‘Kingdom Lighters Ministries’ which seeks to not only protect these children but provide the education that many of us in the western world take for granted.

Persecution

Doing good can often be met with opposition from the darker elements of this harsh world we live in. Nankabirwa and her husband have had more than their fair share of persecution. All three of Nankabirwa’s pregnancies have been difficult, seeing her ending up in hospital all three times with high blood pressure and emergency c-sections. Another time she was poisoned by witch doctors in the area for providing spiritual healing to those who had visited with the witch doctors.

Last year, their ministry and orphanage was moved off the land they were leasing, forcing them to leave behind half-built amenities which they’d recently received funding for. They were given just 3 months to find an alternative and by a miracle they were able to purchase their own land, through the generous donations made by long term supporters of the ministry. Over the following 6 months or so, they were also able to finish the buildings they required to house the orphans and provide education.

How You Can Help

Whilst they were fortunate to be able to purchase land for their school building and some amenities, they are still trying to find funds to purchase land to plant and grow their own vegetables so they can have a regular supply of food to feed the children. Costs for the children’s care is an ongoing issue. The number of children needing a safe place to live and a chance at an education and a better life, grows every day and it’s only through the generous donations of people like you and I, that ministries like these can keep operating and making a difference in the world.

You can help Nankabirwa and Pastor James Kambugu change children’s lives in such a profound way by making a donation to their ministry. Every single cent is a blessing and helps to give a child hope. Hope in the future and in a better life than the one they have experienced so far. Even if all you have is $5, $10 or $20, it can make a massive impact on a little child’s life, giving them basic human needs and the education that can mean the difference between a continued life of poverty and a happy, healthy future for themselves and their families.

You can make a donation to Kingdom Lighters Ministries through this GoFundMe link https://www.gofundme.com/kingdom-lighters-ministry-uganda or directly through Paypal here http://bit.ly/Donate2KingDomLightersMiNiStries

Also keep up to date with what’s happening in the ministry through their website www.kingdomlighters.org and their Facebook page.

Thanks

Thank you for reading this blog. If you have a Mum Life Success story you’d like to see featured on this blog, contact us at mumlifestories@gmail.com or visit our Mum Life Stories T & C’s page for more info.

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You can read more Mum Life Success Stories HERE

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Cassy’s Cafe: A Mum Life Success Story

28/09/2019Jo Caddy

If there is one thing I love about the invention of the internet, it’s that I can interview someone on the other side of the world and write a story about them without even leaving my own house. Heck, I don’t even have to talk to them on the phone, I simply do what I do best and write to them, and they write back. How amazing is that? I love that it’s so easy to connect with new people, people that I wouldn’t otherwise ever have a chance to meet or get to know.

Through the stories that I’ve been privileged to write in the last several months, I’ve met some amazing women, women who are pushing past the obstacles and setbacks that life inevitably throws their way and chasing those elusive dreams that so many people talk about but so little achieve. These women have inspired me and I hope inspired you also.

One such lady who’s positive attitude to life caught my attention on Instagram (@lifeofcassy2019) is Cassandra Sojka.

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Immigration of Cassy

This months ‘Mum Life Success Story’ Mum, comes all the way from The Gambia (otherwise known as ‘The Smiling Coast of Africa’). Cassandra Sojka, originally from Stockholm Sweden, moved to The Gambia in 2013 where she now owns and runs a successful Cafe/Restaurant (Cassy’s Cafe) with her Husband Ladislav. They have two children, Aiden (5) and Mio (3).

If you’re asking the question ‘where the heck is The Gambia?’ your not alone. Cassy admitted to me that she needed to check a map before going on a family holiday there in 2011 because she had no idea where this country was. I myself had to google it and discovered that it’s actually the smallest country within mainland Africa. It occupies a small sliver of land around the Gambia River and is almost entirely surrounded by Senegal with the exception of its western coastline along the Atlantic Ocean (Wikipedia 2019). It’s best known for it’s subtropical climate, pristine beaches, and abundant birdlife, drawing tourists all-year-round.

The Empowered Entrepreneur by Elizabeth Cairns

So why the Gambia?

Cassandra says “Ever since I was young I wanted to move from Sweden to another county. I didn’t know where to, when or how but it was just always my dream.” It was during her family holiday in 2011 that she fell in love with the country and didn’t want to go home when the two weeks were up. “My sister and I booked a single ticket back to the Gambia only a few days after we got home. During our 1, 5-month stay we met a lot of new people and my sister got a job offer. I convinced her to stay as she could just return home to Sweden if she didn’t like it.” It was obviously some good advice as she still lives in the Gambia now.“

Cassy travelled back and forth, as much as she could, at times working 6 jobs in Sweden in order to save for the trips. “My sister was there and also the man that would become my husband. We were not in a relationship yet but we loved spending time together. In 2013 we decided to give our relationship a real try and I decided to move down to the Gambia permanently.”

They got engaged and Cassy got pregnant just 6 months after they decided. 3 years and 2 kids later they started thinking about how they could make an income without leaving the kids for long hours and making next to nothing because in the Gambia, salaries are bad and working hours are long. “The only thing that made sense with two young kids, was to open something of our own. We went back and forth on what we could do, what would work in this small, developing, beautiful country. A café and a restaurant were closing down in a complex and we decided to jump on the opportunity. We believed it was something the Gambia was missing. We had to act quick, so within two months after we decided, we were open.”

Obstacles

Cassandra says she still doesn’t know how they did it, without savings and so fast, but it just goes to show that it’s possible to do so much more than you think. “Both my husband and I are very spontaneous people. I’m also very positive so thinking that we would fail or that it wouldn’t work is nothing I remember even having in my mind.”

That’s not to say that there were no obstacles. Every huge life decision, especially when you have a family, comes with a certain amount of hurdles that need to be cleared before the race can be won. The 10 foot hurdles some people may see however, can seem more like 10mm if approached with a positive attitude and a determination to overcome.

“There were two obstacles when we were about to open the café. The first one was to leave the kids with a babysitter. To find someone to trust and to spend more time away from them. We just had to get used to the idea like anyone else that is going back to work. I brought the kids with the babysitter to the café a lot in the beginning.”

The second issue was money. For a while, they weren’t sure how they would be able to pay for everything they needed to open a café. “We asked a friend to help a bit and the rest just worked out” and they did make it work “after two months we expanded and after only a few months open we climbed up to number 1 on TripAdvisor and still remain there.”

After 2 years in operation, Cassy’s Cafè is a thriving business “it’s a hangout spot for a lot of different people, from local celebrities to teenagers and families. Coming to work makes me happy.”

Balance

That elusive question of “how do you find balance?” is always my favourite, probably because I struggle in this area and I’m always interested to hear how successful Mums manage it. “How do I balance life, kids, and business? Do I get tired? For sure! Is it worth it? Yes! I make sure to spend a lot of quality time with the kids both at home and out, I make sure we do a lot of fun things together.” Cassy admits that her energy isn’t always enough for the beach after work but it makes her happy. Seeing the kids happy, makes her happy.

I believe that scheduling quality time for relationships is an important aspect of finding balance between work and life. Cassy says “We have a babysitter two times a week so that my husband and I can have dinner and spend time together, even if it’s at work. What also works for me is to not have too many routines or too many plans. I like being spontaneous. I like being able to pick up the kids from school and together decide where we should go and how we should spend the afternoon. It’s the small things that make life good. Too many plans tend to stress me.”

The Future

When asked where she could see herself in 5 years, she replied “I hope the café is still as popular as today, if not more. I hope that we continue to grow and have one or two more businesses. I know it sounds like a lot but I believe it’s possible! I believe positive thinking really helps with whatever you want in life.”

Her advice to anyone thinking of starting their own business is to “Have a good partner. Especially if there are kids in the picture. It has to be someone you trust, that has the same goals as you. Someone that’s willing to work hard. For me, that’s my husband and that’s the biggest reason I manage the life I do and managed to stay happy. If it weren’t for him, I would have wanted to quit many times. We can believe that we can do it all on our own, but it’s also ok to admit we can’t!”

Whilst it’s not always possible to find that loving supportive partner, I agree that it’s a great idea to surround ourselves with positive people who are on board with our vision. Having someone there to lift us up when we stumble can sometimes be the difference between persevering and giving up.

What’s your dream for the future? Do you believe it’s possible? If not, why not? Drop a comment in the comment section below 🙂

If you’d like to follow Cassy’s family adventures, you can visit her account on instagram @lifeofcassy2019 or follow the success of her cafe @cassyscafe.

Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction by Nancy Stohlman

Thanks

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Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction

Mum Life Success Story