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WoodCycle: Reclaimed Wood Products

Jo Caddy

Hi everyone, it’s been a little while since I’ve posted anything. With so many people gaining extra “free time” with all this isolation and quarantine etc, it’s been quite the opposite for me. I had all 5 kids home all week for more than 5 weeks with the exception of the younger two being at their dad’s a few days a fortnight. The majority of the time I’ve been keeping the two rugrats occupied and entertained, and they do not understand the concept of ‘working from home’. If I dare take my focus from them and try to get on the computer or iPad, they insist they need ‘more food’, ‘more entertainment’, ‘more attention’ and just plain ‘more’, as I’m sure many, many mums (and Dads) can relate. They basically think they own my iPad anyway and so, me using it in front of them causes more drama than its worth, and my older kids commandeered my computer for their school work (until two of them returned to school this week). Apart from that, on the weekends while the little ones are away I’ve been working hard on my new business.

You’ve probably noticed a few DIY posts over the last few months, detailing instructions on how to make rustic bed heads & trays, etc from reclaimed wood. Well, I’ve enjoyed doing these projects so much that I decided to start selling them through the Facebook marketplace. My trays gained some interest, so I figured why not turn my little hobby into a business? So that’s what I have done.

WoodCycle Etsy store banner

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Reclaimed & Rustic

Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to live in a treehouse. Not a literal treehouse, out in the backyard with one hobbit-sized room and a dangerously precarious, ladder. More like a house made almost entirely from reclaimed wood, surrounded by a forest of trees, far enough out of town that the only traffic you could hear would be the flocks of birds making their daily passings, but not so far out as to be isolated.

There is something about ‘wood’ itself, something that reminds me of what is important. ‘Realness’ and what could be more real than wood? It’s natural, it’s raw, it’s beautiful, it’s real. But wood can sometimes come across as something it’s not, if it’s milled too much, perfectly cut and polished up (much like a woman with too much makeup) it can come across as ostentatious and anything but ‘real’.

When I think of the word ‘reclaimed’ I think of wood that has been made beautiful by its experience, much like a wise old lady. Wood that is still natural and earthy, raw and real, but damaged, changed by its circumstances, full of character and charm. It’s old and used but so full of potential. All it takes is some love and care and it can be brought back to a glorious state, made even more beautiful by its brokenness and imperfections.

When I lived in Tassie I made one dream come true and finally purchased myself a king-size bed made from reclaimed wood. It was gorgeous and large and gloriously comfortable. Unfortunately, I had to sell it just a few months later to move across the country again, needless to say, I was devastated. I promised myself I would get my reclaimed wood bed back someday, somehow, but I soon realized the price tag was beyond my reach.

My First Project’s

Finished K Bedhead 1 in room (no.2 sml)

After browsing Pinterest and Instagram and seeing the amazing results people had had with pallet wood, I decided I would try and make one of my own. It took me a few weeks of procrastination but I finally got there. At first, I wasn’t sure if I could do it but once I got started, I realized it wasn’t that difficult and all it takes is a little motivation. Now I actually have something better. Something I made myself! I even enjoyed doing it so much that I decided to try and make some more things.

My second project was a serving tray like I’d seen on Pinterest. After building it however, I realized I’d made the sides of the tray too high, so it was more like a storage tray, and the idea came to me to create an insert that would make my tray versatile. Now it could be used as either a storage tray or a serving tray. I received three orders for these straight after I listed them on the Facebook marketplace.

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Things got quiet after that due to many people losing their jobs and everyone conserving their money, because of difficult times. I kept making products though and decided to register my business name ‘WoodCycle’ (I thought the choice was obvious) and create an Etsy store. I have 5 products so far and am adding more all the time.

P.S. I recieved orders for around 10 trays during my Mother’s Day sale!

Sustainability

All my products are handmade with at least 70% recycled materials and I’m hoping to increase that to 90% in the next couple of years. I believe sustainability is so important these days and that we should re-use whatever we can, whenever we can.
I also use natural products as much as possible so all of my items are finished with either linseed oil, or tung oil, and sometimes beeswax. The stain is store-bought but I will be experimenting in the future with natural homemade stains also.

I currently make storage trays, serving trays, tea light holders and succulent planters. Planter boxes (including raised veggie beds and hanging planters) and wooden beads will be added to my product list very soon and I have plans in the future to expand into furniture, with coffee tables, bedside tables and bed heads.

The Future

I’m super excited to see where this new venture goes and I must say that it feels really great to finally be making money (however little it is) for all my hard work, it’s been a long time coming, haha.

Feel free to visit my store HERE and if you’d like to sign up to my store mailing list HERE, you’ll receive 10% off your first order, plus info on all my latest news, products & DIY articles, as well as exclusive discounts, and links to giveaway competitions. Alternatively, simply enter your name and email below and I’ll add you to the list!

 

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With this ebook you will learn to approach your days in another way, reducing stress and getting results through prioritizing, leveraging and focus!

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86393114_559304881609182_2836440361268674560_nRustic/Farmhouse Serving/Storage Tray on Etsy

 

 

My Place: Chapter 2

Jo Caddy

Hi everyone. I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted and unfortunately, due to life being a hectic rollercoaster of mumming and business running (news on that coming soon) I won’t be able to get a full-fledged article out for a little bit longer. So I’ve decided to entertain you with my draft (ok, so I wrote it a year ago and have already edited it 10 times) of chapter 2 of my Novel ‘My Place’. If you haven’t read chapter 1 yet, you can click HERE and do that first, or later, whatever suits.

Photo by Alec Douglas on Unsplash

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Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

CHAPTER 2

Becky’s hands were shaking as she tested the firmness of the pasta, gently inserting a fork through the lightly crusted surface. She didn’t know why she was so nervous. She’d made this dish many times before and all but once it had turned out just fine. Cannelloni was a dish that generally called for mincemeat filling inside tubes of pasta smothered in cheese sauce, but Becky preferred to make it with a tuna and tomato sauce filling instead. She found the flavours of the tuna, tomato, and cheese blended together in a combination that was simply divine. Fortunately, her husband Greg was in mutual love with it and requested Becky make it at least once a week.

She closed the oven door, a wave of hot air blowing back her blonde curls, cropped at the shoulders and she returned to the sink to finish washing the dishes. Greg would be home from a long day at work in less than 15 minutes and would be expecting dinner to be ready and on the table by the time he’d put his coat away and washed up. Becky deduced this was not an unreasonable request, as his job was very physically demanding, and he must be horrendously hungry by the time he returned home in the evenings.

She had a lot more time these days anyway. She was not working right now and the least she could do was keep the house in order and get meals done on schedule. She decided another 10 minutes should be enough to cook it through. She took note of the time on the oven, 5.47pm was displayed in bright white lights on the small screen.

As she wiped clean each item in the warm soapy water, she gazed out the window to the horizon where the dark blue of the Southern Ocean met the lighter blue of the cloudless sky. She could only catch a glimpse of the majestic waters as the shrubs along the back fence had grown to such a height that they all but blocked the magnificent view.

There was a small space between the two separate shrubs where the ocean was still visible, and it was this small recess that made the kitchen window Becky’s favourite view in the entire house. She stared at the calm surface that seemed so serene and peaceful. It appeared to stretch on for eternity and Becky imagined how wide and expansive it must be beyond that point where sea met sky.

There was something about the ocean that made Becky feel alive, something that made her heart feel lighter and full of hope like anything was possible. She thought perhaps it was because of its magnificent size, such an expanse that appeared to have no boundaries, no borders, no confines. It was open, limitless, unburdened…free! There were no duties to perform, schedules to stick to, people to please or bills to pay, there were no demands on it other than to keep existing, keep being what it was, what it was made to be, what it was good at.

The same landscape that made her feel uncommonly alive also crippled her with a gut-wrenching sadness. Conflicting feelings wrested inside her. Confusion seemed all too prevalent within her lately. Confusion over what was right and what was wrong. What was good and what was bad. What to say and what not to say. What to think, feel, or do and what not to think, feel, or do. Becky felt the moments of overwhelming emotion were gaining traction rather than fading away like they were meant to. The anxiety was increasing and the Post Traumatic Stress she’d been diagnosed with seemed to be winning the war that she’d taken time off to fight. She’d gone on sabbatical armed with nothing more than household duties and subscription drugs to fight a battle with an unrelenting demon that seemed determined to conquer her soul. Right now though, there was a momentary suspension of hostilities as she lost herself in the serenity of the breathtaking view.

Placing the last pot on the dish rack, Becky flicked a glance at the clock on the oven and nearly passed out as her heart skipped a beat. It read 6.05pm. She’d momentarily given way to her wandering thoughts and lost track of the passing minutes. An irrational fear struck her once again as she anticipated a blackened surface that would give the meal an unsavoury smoky flavour. She pulled the door down and was relieved to see the top of the meal was not burnt at all but was only moments from it.

She quickly removed the dish from the oven with the trusty oven mits her mother had gifted her on her wedding day and after placing it on the stovetop, she turned the two oven knobs to 0. She decided she’d leave the meal in the dish until Greg returned home and then she’d serve it out as she didn’t want it to get cold on the plate.

She crossed the dining room to the living room and pulled the 30-year-old curtains away from the window to survey the driveway. She stared at the empty space and uneasiness came to keep her company once again. He was rarely home later than 6pm, in fact, he was nearly on the dot most days, she could all but set her watch by it. She contemplated whether to return the meal to the oven at a low temperature to keep it warm or if that was a poor idea given that if he was a great deal later, the cheese could possibly burn or the pasta would become overcooked and hard. Anxiety began to snap at her heels as she couldn’t decide what to do.

She paced the living room floor until the wooden clock on the wall read 6.30, glancing out the window every time she caught sight of a pair of headlights. That’s it, she decided she needed to put the food back into a warm oven before her husband arrived home to a cold meal. She walked back to the kitchen at a hastened pace, switching the oven on once more and returning the cannelloni to the top shelf. As she did this, she heard the key in the front door at the end of the hall.

going-short-cover-proof-2-1-1Going Short: An Invitation to Flash Fiction by Nancy Stohlman

The sound of metal on metal as the key was inserted and the deadbolt moving swiftly out of its locked position, used to be of comfort to Becky but lately, the familiar sound brought with it a weight of anxiety that she couldn’t explain to herself let alone another living soul.

She quickly took two dinner plates out of the cupboard above the oven and placed them on the bench as Greg entered the kitchen. The smell of Motor oil and grease accompanied him as it did every day and a subtle hint of cigarette smoke lingered on his beard. Becky pretended not to notice as he gave her a kiss on the cheek. It seemed like he’d had a good day at least since he’d come straight in to see her.

A happy smile reached right up to his well-defined cheekbones and brought a youthful glow to his aging face. Smile lines were beginning to appear around his plump wide lips, which showed his 35 years had been full of many joyful, if not fun moments. The matching frown lines between his black bushy brows, told a darker story of more melancholy times.

“Hey sweetheart, sorry I’m late, traffic was a nightmare” he gushed in a sincere and apologetic tone.

Even though she felt annoyed at the fact he didn’t bother to call or text her that he was going to be late, she shook her head and with a wave of her hand said “that’s ok, I understand”. She was ever so careful not to let her tone show her dissatisfaction. “I’m just reheating dinner so it should be ready soon.”

“Great, I’m starving, I’ll just go wash up and get changed.” He removed his coat, revealing his grey, grease-stained overalls. The black marks that were all too familiar to Becky now, glared back at her as though mocking her, daring her to make a complaint and at the same time threatening her with trouble if she did. It was as though they resentfully held her dark secret, a secret that triggered a plethora of negative emotions within her. There was something unfamiliar however that caught her eye. A touch of red on the collar beneath his left cheek. Greg hastily inserted the coat hanger into the neck of his jacket and hung it on the wooden rod in the hallway cupboard.

Becky heard the shower turn on at the end of the hall as she opened the oven door. She sensed straight away that something was wrong, for the usual rush of hot air was absent. Panic threatened to dissolve her already shaky confidence. She suddenly realised that she’d only turned on the dial that controlled the fan and light, leaving the temperature dial on 0. She quickly rectified her oversight, shut the oven door and stepped back, placing her hands over both her flushed cheeks. She knew it would take way too long to heat up the oven and reheat the cannelloni, so she made a hasty decision to remove it from the oven, serve it up and microwave each plate.

The microwave beeped three times as the second plate finished reheating. Becky heard the shower turn off and 3 minutes later Greg walked into the dining room as Becky placed the dinner plate down in front of his usual chair at the head of the table. He smiled and exclaimed “oh you made my favourite!” Becky felt pleased at his obvious elation.

Her momentary high was short-lived however when he took the first mouthful, contorted his face in a look of disgust and spat the contents of his mouth back onto his plate. “Ah, it’s all dried out.” He groaned “Did you over-cook it again?”

“N…no” Becky stuttered, thinking carefully about how to word her response. “It was cooked perfectly, but I had to reheat it in the microwave as I had it ready for 6pm but you were half an hour later than usual.” She kept her tone casual and apologetic, but it did little to appease his dissatisfaction.

“Oh I get it, it’s my fault” He spat, banging the glass table with his clenched fist.

“No, I didn’t say that” Becky pleaded “just that I had to reheat it, because I didn’t want you to have a cold dinner.”

“But you don’t mind me having a dried-out indigestible meal after slogging my guts out all day to provide you with everything you want?” His voice echoed an all too familiar aggression that made Becky feel small and inadequate. It stirred up a resentment inside her that she struggled to hide.

She glared at him and carefully but staunchly replied “I didn’t do it on purpose, I tried to have it ready for when you got home, I didn’t know you were going to be late.” Her voice was shaky as her emotions overtook her sensibility and adrenalin started to rise. If this had been an unusual occurrence, Becky would have remained patient much longer but because it felt like nothing she said or did lately was good enough, frustration and exasperation were constantly lingering at the door, ready to burst in at the slightest sign of irrationality from her husband.

“There you go again!” He said in a frustrated tone “it always has to be my fault doesn’t it? I can only assume your angry about me being home a little later than usual. Well I’m sorry I got stuck in traffic, I’m sorry I have to drive an hour to and from work every day so you can live closer to your Mother, I’m sorry I can’t be home all day doing nothing like you, someone has to work, someone has to make the money and pay the bills, we can’t all be selfish and take time off to recover from life being shit!” He thrust his hand into the air as he shouted the last sentence.

Becky flinched and took a sharp breath in as his large brutish hand waved passed her face, inches from her nose. Her heart was pounding like the thundering of hooves at a racetrack and Greg rolled his eyes.

“Well you’ve ruined another perfectly fine evening, why do you have to act like I’m a monster and I’m going to hit you or something? I told you that would never happen again. Seriously though, sometimes I feel like your trying to make me do something so you can tell everyone I’m this terrible person that is victimising you.”

“I’m not!” Becky gave way to her despair and sobbed a little. She could tell that it annoyed him more, but she couldn’t contain the angst any longer. “I just feel like everything I do and say is wrong lately, you make me feel so small.”

“I make YOU feel small?” He raised his voice again, getting up from the chair “for God sake, what do you think you’re doing to me?” He threw his beige cloth napkin on the table and stormed out of the dining room toward the hall cupboard shouting “I’m going out, I need a break, and something edible for dinner, I’ll be back later.” He took his coat off the hanger, leaving the door to the cupboard wide open and marched out the front door, slamming it behind him.

Becky’s head was reeling. What just happened? Was she right in feeling that he bullied her or did she inadvertently accuse him with her tone because of her anxious thoughts and feelings? Was he justified in his anger or her in hers? Was he wrong or were they both to blame? Becky felt dizzy with confusion but decided to try and push a few morsels of cannelloni into her stomach for she knew if she didn’t, she’d be starving later, and her stomach would make annoying gurgling sounds all night.

Three forkfuls was all she could manage before dropping her fork loudly on her plate and proceeding to clean up the table and start on the dishes again. She felt anger and frustration squeezing at her esophagus as she anticipated the long excruciating wait to see when and in what state Greg would arrive home that night.

 

CHAPTER 3…

Thanks

Thank you for reading this blog. You can read more stories HERE and if you’d like to submit a story for consideration to be published, please visit our submissions page.

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With this ebook you will learn to approach your days in another way, reducing stress and getting results through prioritizing, leveraging and focus!

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25 MumLife Quotes

Jo Caddy

An oldy but a goodie! I’m reposting this post, to remind everyone how awesome mothers and motherhood truly is!

There are so many things to be said about Mums and Motherhood, so many stories and fun anecdotes about the highs and lows of life with and as Mothers. Words alone could not express the depth of Love Mothers have for their children and vice versa but there are many who have tried to do just that. We thought it would be fun to gather 25 quotes on Mothers and Motherhood to share with you, so we can all appreciate together, the fantastic contribution that these women make in all our lives.

 

“But there’s a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother’s story, because hers is where yours begins.” ~ Mitch Albom (For one more day)

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” ~ Theodore Hesburgh

“The natural state of motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.” ~ Jessica Lange

“The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness.” ~ Honore de Balzac

“The influence of a mother upon the lives of her children cannot be measured. They know and absorb her example and attitudes when it comes to questions of honesty, temperance, kindness, and industry.” ~ Billy Graham

“No man succeeds without a good woman behind him. Wife or mother, if it is both, he is twice blessed indeed.” ~ Godfrey Winn

“The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly – indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection.” ~ Arianna Huffington

“To be a mother you must be strong. Even if you don’t feel it, you have to pretend.” ~ Sade Adu

“When I was a child, my mother said to me, ‘If you become a soldier, you’ll be a general. If you become a monk, you’ll end up as the Pope.’ Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.” ~ Pablo Picasso

“A mother is a woman who shows you the light when you just see the dark.” ~ Grimaldos Robin

“Mothers never retire, no matter how old her children are she is always a Mom, always willing to encourage and help her children in any way she can!” ~ Catherine Pulsifer

“Mother-love is the great, surging, divine current that plays forever through humanity.” ~ Elbert Hubbard 

 

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Home Sweet Home Sign (Buy it Now)

“Many of us who are mothers already know that being a mother is the toughest job there is. In a single day you can travel from the depths of frustration to the pinnacle of elation!” ~ June Cotner

“Giving grace to yourself is never more important than when you become a mother.” ~ Whitney Meade, The Balance Beam

“The truth is that no matter how old we are, as long as our mothers are alive, we want our mother. And it’s a very powerful relationship if it’s healthy.” ~ Goldie Hawn

“God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.” ~ Rudyard Kipling

“In a child’s eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath, but she commands love either way. I am convinced that this is the greatest power in the universe.” ~ N.K. Jemisin

“Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver

“A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.” ~ Washington Irving

“Behind every famous and influential person there is a driving force and in many cases this driving force is the unfailing love and support of their mothers.” ~ Lisa Valentine 

“The truth is, every son raised by a single mom is pretty much born married. I don’t know, but until your mom dies it seems like all the other women in your life can never be more than just your mistress.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

“Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein, Have Space Suit—Will Travel

 “Mother’s love is bliss, is peace, it need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. If it is there, it is like a blessing; if it is not there it is as if all the beauty had gone out of life.” ~ Erich Fromm

“He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark.” 
~ J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

 “Because I feel that, in the Heavens above / The angels, whispering to one another, / Can find, among their burning terms of love / None so devotional as that of ‘Mother’” ~ Edgar Allan Poe

 

This page contains an affiliate link which may earn me a small commission at no extra cost to you, if you click through and make a purchase. Affiliate links are how I keep this blog running, thank you.

Get your FREE Ebook

Accomplish more IN a fraction of the time

The pace and intensity of our lives, both at work and at home, leave many of us feeling like a person riding a frantically galloping horse. Our day-to-day incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time.

With this ebook you will learn to approach your days in another way, reducing stress and getting results through prioritizing, leveraging and focus!

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Is Blogging Dead?

Jo Caddy

Someone told me yesterday that blogging is basically dead, that no one has time (especially mothers) to sit down and read anymore. That vlogging, Youtube, IGTV and FB/Insta stories were where it’s at nowadays. Could this be true? or is it merely a trend that will bloom today and wither tomorrow?

It crossed my mind that perhaps they were right, perhaps I should change my direction if I want to ever be successful and benefit financially from what I pour my heart and soul into, but then I thought about what would happen if we all started giving into this mentality that blogging is dead and we stopped writing, in order to chase success through product layouts, endorsement videos and previews of our morning routine. If we stopped writing/blogging, then would we be enabling the steady decline of book reading, story writing and other literary pursuits? Would we be showing the world that literacy has changed form, being defined now as status updates and memes?

Why I won’t quit!

If I turn my back on blogging, there will be many women who won’t have the opportunity to share their stories, inspiration will not find its way into hungry hearts the way it has when women have shared their success stories or their fiction pieces. Writers will miss their chance to be published without the anthology I promised to have published at the end of this year and instead of doing what I love (writing) I’ll find myself awkwardly stepping in front of the camera (I prefer, behind it), doing what I don’t really love, in order to increase my chances of becoming financially successful. In short, I’d be selling out. So I will not open the gates of self-doubt, drowning in the deluge of defeat and give-up just when I’m starting to get somewhere, just because someone else is finding success in the new wave of Mummy marketing schemes, known as social media influencing. The words “Avon calling” keeps coming to mind. Blogging is hard, heck writing is hard but it makes an impact. I’d rather make the odd dollar here and there through affiliate marketing, touching people’s hearts through relatable experiences and motivating reflections along the way, than to make a career out of encouraging their tendencies for impulse shopping and appealing to their insatiable need to have whatever is currently ‘trending’.I’m not saying there is anything inherently wrong with that, but I don’t believe it is for me. I want to be open and honest, raw and relatable, not following a formula that’s proven to make people ‘spend big’ which I can only liken to the illusive ‘subliminal advertising’ (now outlawed in most places). So in short, blogging is only dead if bloggers are only blogging for the opportunity to make some coin. If you love blogging and/or writing then blogging will never be dead. You might just have to work that little bit harder to make a living at it.

If you’d like to start a blog, WordPress is an amazing platform and this is my personal opinion, because I love it! 🙂 

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

This page contains an affiliate link which may earn me a small commission at no extra cost to you, if you click through and make a purchase. Affiliate links are how I keep this blog running, thank you.

Get your FREE Ebook

Accomplish more IN a fraction of the time

The pace and intensity of our lives, both at work and at home, leave many of us feeling like a person riding a frantically galloping horse. Our day-to-day incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time.With this ebook you will learn to approach your days in another way, reducing stress and getting results through prioritizing, leveraging and focus!

ebook button 

WordPress.com

How To Find Balance: Is It Even Possible?

Jo Caddy

86462386_1470052806491083_5759624166969966592_n

Hi everyone, it’s been a while since I wrote a post on ‘Mum Life’ and I apologize for that. I’ve been pretty wrapped up with our micro-fiction writing competitions, starting a new business venture (I’ll tell you all about it in a couple of months) and taking care of my family, but I decided this morning I was going to dedicate at least an hour of my time writing this post before it flies clean out of my head like a paper napkin out of the car window.

After dropping my older kids off at school Monday morning this week, I was driving home and my head was quickly filling up with all the things that ‘needed’ to be done. Phone calls to make, bills to pay, daycare to organize, decisions to be made about my direction this year, cars to book in for repairs, shopping to be done, school runs, daycare and kindy runs, etc etc etc. You know how it is as a mum, Monday hits and the weight of the entire week starts loading itself upon your shoulders until you can barely breathe from the weight of it. You think about everything that has to be done and how little time you have to do it in and anxiety starts creeping in. If your not careful and don’t get a handle on it as soon as possible, Mum Life Burnout can happen and we all know how bad that can be for ourselves and our family.

This page contains affiliate links which may earn me a small commission (at no extra cost to you) if you click through and make a purchase. Affiliate links are how I keep this blog running, thank you. 

il_fullxfull.1842155457_sc6rHome Sweet Home Sign (Buy it Now)

You can have it all, or can you?

All over social media and throughout blogs and magazines etc, there’s this sometimes subtle and sometimes not so subtle message that “all” women can have it “all”, “all” the time, as long as it’s perfectly balanced! It’s the subject of many books, articles and heck, even I ask the question of all my ‘Mum Life Success Story’ mums, “how do you find balance?” This quest to find balance in our lives as women (not just mums, because we are women first) seems to be an ongoing battle that has become the ‘holy grail’ of womanhood. That which must be attained at all costs if we are to find peace and contentment in our lives.

Well I want to challenge the theory that we need to find that ‘perfect balance’ to be content, and even that ‘perfect balance’ is something that is possible at all. See the idea of balance is that we are giving equal attention to all aspects of our lives or at least to the most important aspects. I don’t know about you but my head is constantly overwhelmed with how many things I’m supposed to stack onto those scales to get the balance I need.

  • Being a good mum (i.e. being always available for all my kids needs, I have 5)
  • Taking care of the household (making sure we have a clean, tidy, functional home)
  • Working on financial independence (whether it’s studying or building a business)
  • Maintaining self-care (me-time, personal growth, rest, etc)
  • As a Christian, maintaining my faith (this includes building on my relationship with Jesus, attending and volunteering at church, establishing relationships with members of my church family and being available for God to use me in the lives of others)

Now these are just the most important things and you can already see that it’s a lot to try and balance, and there’s not much room left for anything else. When I think about all the things that are important to me and consider that they need to be perfectly balanced, it feels like a “suicide mission”, and what I mean is that I’m setting out on a mission with a high probability of failure. I’m setting myself up to feel defeated, useless, disappointed and out of control. This once again can open me up to Mum Life Burnout, where Mum Life Fatigue and Depression can steal my peace and my productivity. That constant quest for Balance can be the very thing that makes me feel like I am not good enough, like I am not doing enough, achieving enough, like I within myself am ‘not enough’. Anyone else feel like that?

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Postscript by Cecelia Ahern (Buy it Now)

Do we need to find balance?

So the question is, do we need to find balance, is it something we should be aiming for? In my opinion….yes and no. We need to balance our lives so that one aspect isn’t consuming every ounce of our time at the expense of the other aspects of our lives but at the same time the pursuit of this ‘balance’ can drive us crazy and create ‘imbalance’ in our hearts.

I can see how this would be confusing, so let me explain.

Like I mentioned earlier, I ask all my ‘Mum Life Success Story‘ mums how they find balance (if they do) and the answers are almost always the same in that ‘they don’t’. What they do do, is make family their main priority. Their families come first and anything else they do has to be juggled around that. Now anyone who has a family will know that things rarely go to plan and cannot be boxed into a particular time frame.

Have you ever been at work or Uni/College/Tafe etc, and received a phone call from your child’s school or daycare centre, informing you your child is ill and you need to come and pick them up asap? I’m sure most of us have been there. Your going about your business, feeling capable, productive and in control of your schedule and life, and then BAM, your schedule and your ‘balance’ is thrown off and everything is tossed to the wind because you now have to face a boss, lecturer, clients or yourself (if your self employed) and inform them, you cannot do what you’ve committed to do that day because you have to go collect a child and be a mother for the rest of the day.

How do you deal with this? With strength and poise and calmness and a spring in your step? (Congrats if you do) or is it more like a heavy weight has been thrown onto your scales, tipping it completely off balance in favour of one side? Does it make you feel deflated? Angry? Irritable and short on patience? I know I’ve been there. I’ve finally gotten into a good routine (me last week) and I feel like I’m killing it with how evenly my scales are tipped and then something will once again throw it off balance and my balance ‘high’ comes crashing down and I feel resentful (again, me last week). This often shows in my attitude and behaviour toward my family, the most important aspect of my life. In turn I once again feel like I’m failing at life, failing at everything I’ve been put on this planet to do.

In situations like this we can feel like nothing is ever completely balanced because life can be unpredictable. If we think of balance as having all the important aspects of our lives equally divided and adhering to strict measurements and time frames etc etc, then we will inevitably fail to find balance. Life and especially family does not ever stick to a tight schedule. So how can we give time to all the important areas of our lives and not feel defeated and out of control when the scales get tipped in one direction or the other.

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Is Our Idea Of Balance Unbalanced?

Let me explain this using some illustrations, because if your like me (a visual learner) you’ll understand things better if your shown rather than told.

So if we imagine our life like a giant scale that’s evenly balanced with all the important aspects of our lives equally divided up on each side we can see how ‘balance’ is designed to work. For the purpose of getting this post done quicker, I will keep it simple with just four aspects.

Let’s say we have one block for family (this includes all the things that we need to do with and for our families including relationships with spouses or partners), one block for work (this can include all aspects of work and or study etc, if your doing one or the other that is), one block for self care (this includes ‘me time’, hobbies, exercise and other health related things) and one block entitled ‘other’ which is everything else we consider important in our lives (extra study, time with friends, volunteer projects, church commitments etc etc).

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So the idea of balance is that all areas of our lives that are important to us need to be equally divided in order for the scales to be even. When family life happens, as it does, we see something like this, with family taking up more time than any other aspect.

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This of course throws everything out of balance and in order to get things back in balance something has to suffer and usually it’s our sleep or self-care. Then the inevitable burn-out happens and even though we’ve gotten all our priorities back into a balanced place our bodies, our mindset and our sanity is all out of whack and maintaining balance in our life becomes a futile task once again.

Solution

So how do we find balance in our daily or weekly lives without losing our sanity and peace in the process?

It’s all about our mind set, our main priority and our attitude toward it. The truth is as I’m sure most of you already know, that family should always be our main priority. If we neglect this aspect of our lives, we inevitably lose it. Kids grow up, lose touch because there’s no connection anymore, they have families and repeat the cycle over again. Our attitude toward community I believe can be directly linked to our attitude toward family.

If family is not our main priority then community also takes a back seat. This can mean that we often isolate ourselves, fail to establish connections with others and ultimately spend a great deal of our lives alone, unconnected, unsupported and struggling. I’m not saying this is true in all cases and that all disconnection and isolation comes from a lack of quality family life, it’s a complex issue with so many variables and contributing factors that it would take 10 books to cover it all, but not making family our most important and valuable treasure in life can affect not just ourselves but our children in the long run.

So what I suggest is a change of heart or mindset as to what creates balance. Instead of trying to assign equal time to each aspect of our lives, maybe family should be the main aspect that we focus on. Assigning more importance to family than anything else, giving it more of our attention and time and focus would make the scales look something like this.

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What this means for the other aspects of our lives

We all know that if we overload ourselves with too much to do, we inevitably burn out and then we are no good to anyone or anything.

I know it’s important to make money, for without it we cannot live, our families cannot live and the cost of living these days far exceeds most basic incomes, but what I’m saying is do we need that brand new fancy car, that yearly vacation, that latest technology, that bigger house etc etc? Are there things we are living for, working for that are taking priority over our families so that whenever the inevitable family life happens and we are forced to put it first, we are feeling out of balance and losing our cool?

Our kids are only with us for such a short time, a lot of us are pushing for careers, lifestyles and incomes that go above and beyond simply providing for our families. We reach a goal in life and the satisfaction is momentary and we are setting a new higher goal for the next momentary satisfaction. The world has become consumed with “self” and achieving for “self” so we can feel fulfilled as a human being etc etc etc, but focusing on self, what we can achieve, what we can earn, what we can get, what we can ‘feel’ from all of that, means putting our families into a little box that is the same size as all the other little boxes in our lives and we can sometimes resent it when that little box tries to grow and outweigh the other little boxes, leading our families, our spouses, our children etc feeling unimportant, unheard, unseen and looking for all those things in all the wrong places.

As I write this I feel like it’s going in so many different directions that need expanding on which would equal at least one book, so I will sum up my thoughts (and these are just my thoughts, I’m no expert) into two more paragraphs.


Conclusion

Instead of striving for balance in all areas of our lives and inevitably failing and feeling like a loser (harsh but true), maybe we should strive to balance our family life with all the other areas of our lives. If other areas have to suffer, don’t stress too much. Obviously work has to be the second priority but everything else can have it’s time. You may not fit all of it into a week, you may have to think about a monthly or yearly schedule that accomplishes all your other goals but don’t stress out when you can’t fit in that pottery class this week, or you have to say no to volunteering this time or you miss a session at the gym or the spa etc etc.

Look at the smiles on your kids faces, the joy in their hearts when you make them a priority. Cherish every moment, even if you have to have pizza at home instead of going to a restaurant, make the most of the little moments, celebrate the victories and achievements of your children, consider them your own achievements and you’ll find satisfaction in that because they are your offspring, your progeny, they carry so much of you within them and they will learn what is important from what you show them is important.

Please remember these are just my opinions, I know everyone’s situation is very different and we all have to do what works for us and our families.

Are there any plans or strategies you use to help gain ‘balance’ in your life?

Thanks

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MOMS MADE FOR MORE: A Mum Life Success Story

Jo Caddy

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This month’s Mum Life Success Story embraces all that I hope for, for my readers here at Mum Life Stories. Independence, perseverance, courage, identity, and a can-do attitude toward chasing her dreams. She’s on a mission to not only see her own dreams and desires fulfilled but to help others do the same and to find their true selves amongst all the noise this world throws at them. 

A true inspiration, April Sky is a single mum, business woman, life coach and entrepreneur. How she got to where she is today can only be attributed to her own determination not to give up, not to allow her circumstances or the obstacles that inevitably come, to prevent her from being all that she can be.

I could go on with the introduction but I think I will just let her do that herself. Afterall who can tell you more about someone than that someone themselves?

“Hi, friends! My name is April Sky and I’ve been a divorced full-time single boy mom for the past three years to my wild-ass, beautifully creative,  five-year-old son. Together, we live on our own in Montana (United States). Both businesses that I’ve built/run and supported us with financially, were started after he was born, making our journey quite the freaking ride.”

This page contains affiliate links which may earn me a small commission (at no extra cost to you) if you click through and make a purchase. Affiliate links help me keep this blog running, thank you.



Becoming Mum

Before April was a mother she was quite satisfied in her job as a teacher. She was married and certain that she was supposed to be a stay-at-home mum.

“So, I had my son, loved him fiercely, but felt an extreme pull to somehow financially contribute, which then birthed my second baby, photography. Two years later, that business exploded into a profitable wedding photography venture that not only gave me my independence, but it gave me a voice, something that had been squashed out of me since I was little. I knew in my soul that the identity I had lived and the life I had built around me was not okay or healthy and most importantly, not what I wanted to raise my child around. 

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When Jaemon was not even two, I signed up for, trained, and ran my first half marathon. It was in training that I realized I was in a very unhealthy marriage and was not being true to who I was deep down. I was a lost mom who had never ever had the opportunity to be her true self. I wasn’t really even sure who that was, I just knew it wasn’t who I was at that moment. So, after an internal battle for the ages and essentially no emotional support, I left. Hello single mom life.”

Troubled Beginnings

Many of us can probably relate to the fact that who we become as adults and how we feel about who we are is shaped by our childhood and the influences and experiences we go through. Some experiences are good and help us learn how to cope with the world and some damage us and tear holes in our identity that take many years to repair. April had an experience in her childhood that did just that.

“The shaping of who I am and why I lived a life of lost identity until the age of 27 started when I was five-years-old, when in a moment I lost the trust of a family member and of men really altogether. With this story comes tears, guilt, trauma, lasting damage, grief and several rounds of counseling (my current counselor is my jam). It was at five that I lost my voice and quieted that fire I knew even then was inside of me. I recall sitting on my bedroom floor, lighting candles and asking God or the universe to please make me ‘normal’ and like everyone else. At age five.

My wandering soul was old then and although it was beautifully different, outside circumstance told it not to be. It’s because of this that I am now louder than my circumstances. It’s because of this that I left my child’s father because I damn-well wasn’t going to watch my son’s old soul be shamed out of him as well. Celebrate your differences because they are gifts that were given to you for a reason.”



Finding her voice

After a difficult separation and a series of other traumatic events, April and her son found themselves called to a totally new city, completely on their own.

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“That is where the second business was created, ‘Moms Made for More’. If you cannot find what you need, you create it and that’s just what I did nearly two years ago. What started as a Facebook group for moms to feel safe and interact, snowballed into a full-time business of teaching moms that they can be both a stand-out parent AND a badass dream achiever, simultaneously and it starts with finding their voice.

With dreams comes heartbreak, grief, pain (both physical and mental), loss, and failure. But, you know what sets those that reach their dreams from those that don’t? The will to keep going. I used to, and still catch myself occasionally, living in a limited belief that because I’m a single mom with little to no help emotionally or financially, that it’s harder for me and it’s why I haven’t x,y, or z-ed yet. It’s not because of my situation. It’s because I’m still falling back into that limiting belief occasionally that because I have developmental/past trauma or because my child struggles with sensory issues or because I live dollar to dollar or because so few around me think like I do, that I’m not getting farther faster. In reality, it’s because of these things that I am absolutely fit and ready to do what I’ve been called to do which is to serve moms by being who I am and by using my very loud voice.” 

Balance

I always ask my Mum Life Success Story Mums how they find balance, between family, work, dream chasing and community. April didn’t hold back on being authentic about her struggle.

“Simple answer. I don’t, but what I do find is myself, over and over again. I’ve put in so much emotionally and financially into truly TRULY peeling back the layers and discovering who I am at my core so that, although I’m constantly evolving and growing (as we all can if we give ourselves space to), I know who home-base April is and it’s from there that I find my “balance.” It’s from there that I know what lifts me/weighs me and from there that I’ve learned how to structure my days and my weeks and my year for success as I run two profitable businesses and raise an incredible little boy on my own.

I’m also a planner whore and have my goals with actionable steps plastered all over my walls, haha. Benefit of being single. I believe with my entire being that a dream without a plan stays just that, a dream. So, I feel it, I think it, I speak it into existence, and then I plan it, step-by-step. Solid recipe for turning your dreams into reality. But again, that’s what works for me. Figure out WHO you are and you’ll know what works for you, too.” 

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Future Goals

By now I think you’ve gotten the picture that April is a planner and a visionary, so it should be no surprise that her goals for the next fews years are extraordinary. Of course my question about what she sees herself doing in 5 years was met with great enthusiasm. 

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“Oh my goodness, so I’m a 3 on the Enneagram (run and take the paid version if you have yet to) and so I LOVE getting questioned on my five-year plans. In five years, my ultimate goal is to do less, but achieve more (thank you Kate Northrup). However, if we’re getting specific, allow me to word vomit. I’m a firm believer that when you write your dream as if it is happening/has happened versus the possibility of it happening, the universe loves you more for it.

So with that said, I will be serving millions of moms through several platforms, I will be the host of a podcast (that’s coming at you this year), I will be the author of two published and impactful novels, I will be the author of a single-mom E book that helps get you through the first year as a single mother, I will be on the Ed Mylett Show (huge huge fan), I will be speaking heavily all over the world, and most importantly, I will be an exceptional mother and partner to the man my son and I have yet to meet.” 

April’s Advice

Feeling inspired? Wondering how you could become someone who motivates women to go on that journey of self discovery? April’s advice is:

“If you too would love to be a stay-at-home, full-time working entrepreneur mother who uses her voice to help others, it starts with you. The best gift I could have ever given myself and my child is the space and the time that I devoted to identifying who I am at my core and how I best care for myself to reach my highest potential. It takes trial and error, it takes falling on your ass, and it takes heartbreak, but holy sh#%, once you are on the “other side” looking back at your former lost self, you will smile and keep going. We are forever students of life, but if you want to say “F the Norm” with me and write your own story, it starts with identifying who you are, truly, so that your voice can get you to your highest potential, whatever that may be. 

For extra motivation or to find help getting started on your own personal journey toward self-discovery, you can visit April’s website at www.momsmadeformore.com

To see April’s awesome photography, you can visit her Photography website at www.aprilskyphotography.com

…and why not join April’s community Facebook group here https://www.facebook.com/groups/momsmadeformore/

 

Thanks

Thank you for reading this blog, if you’d like to read more Mum Life Success Stories, click HERE and if you’d like to be featured as one of our success stories, simply email us at mumlifestories@gmail.com or visit our T & C’s page for more info.

To be kept up to date with all our latest stories, news and promos (including giveaways and writing competitions) please sign up to our mailing list. You’ll also receive a FREE Ebook, exclusive to our email subscribers.

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Accomplish more IN a fraction of the time

The pace and intensity of our lives, both at work and at home, leave many of us feeling like a person riding a frantically galloping horse. Our day-to-day incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time.

With this ebook you will learn to approach your days in another way, reducing stress and getting results through prioritizing, leveraging and focus!

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